the world we make is a disappointment.

god. the first book was so GOOD. if nk jemisin didn't have it in her to see the book through she should have just left it, her readers be damned. i am unfulfilled by the atlantis deus ex machina, the sheer number of other cities introduced, the "manny's family knew about living cities this whole time".

a couple good things this book did, though: 1. it gave me more bel, and also bel/madison. i'd write belmad fanfic but i don't think i'd get their voices quite right. 2. the aislyn redemption arc (except she didn't really have enough agency in the narrative, outside of the clam pie scene it fell mostly on veneza, and neek's weird hatred of her is............... i don't even know what to say about it it just feels off. bro she IS you). i wanted this subplot to feature aislyn standing up for herself against her father, too, and would have liked to see her more fully turn her back on r'lyeh, but an attempt was made. 3. padmini/veneza crumbs. i hope im not the only one who sees this. i want acespec padmini/bi veneza. 4. as much as i hate the chicago subplot, the "manny is transgender in a metaphysical god city way" agenda continues in that scene where brooklyn calls him chicago to be petty and it makes him dysphoric. i enjoy that sometimes cisgender poli sci bros with mob ties can be just as transgender as their actually transgender roommate.

this book also had a lot less bronca than i wanted. i was glad to get a lot more insight into padmini, veneza, and even neek, but there was NOT ENOUGH BRONCA.

god, i'm just so disappointed.

followup to my earlier post about pdjp

i'm just going to share my longlist/top 11 (it just worked out that way) for episode one. i'm not on xitter anymore and there doesn't seem to be much of a presence on tumblr... the odds of there being other produce japan viewers on dw are pretty small but i'll post anyway.

• katou kokoro: i'm watching the show for her obviously
• kamio ayano, shibuya mei: they seemed cute when they walked in, idk
• abe nagomi: shes ADORABLE and can also sing really well!!!!
• tanaka koto, shimizu keiko: i don't remember why they're on my longlist to be honest but i must have had a good reason. if i still can't place them after a couple of episodes i'll knock them off the list
• nakano kokona: just for kicking ass at the staring contest
• kasahara momona: she was so kind to kokoro. when she said "i don't think there are 50 people here better than her" it was so sweet and now im instantly on the momona hype train. i want them to be a dynamic duo for the whole show
• kobayashi sae: her vocal performance really stood out to me! tbh i think she deserved to be in b instead of aramaki joa
• ebihara tsuzumi: i looooooove her vocal quality and she was so humble and surprised about her good scores. mostly im impressed by her vocal skills tho
• yamamoto suzu: the best in the wing bell moon team imo! i liked her voice and thought she danced really well also

i do this for every produce series show i watch (see above (image not displaying for some reason i swear it's there)) (pdx is in progress, which is why no colors and more than 12 names) (i leave my 12th crossed out because i feel bad lol). i'll share my full group lineups and positions after i'm done watching pdx, which will be pretty soon, i have 3 episodes left and i'm watching concepts with my friend on monday. the way this works is i keep a running list of anyone who gets me excited about them and then pare down the list at the end