it's the glorious sound of christmas!
Dec. 16th, 2023 12:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
isunshoweraka: some meditations on concert season.
i had about 1/3 of a very long rambly post written about how cliquey choir can be when you get 120 singers, some of whom take themselves a little too seriously, in a room for five days in one week, and about how lonely i am and how my one friend who i know from somewhere else has been simultaneously really reassuring and gentle to me about it but also oblivious to the fact that he's part of the 30something gay baritone clique. this post does not need to go on dreamwidth to my 4 followers. i am self-conscious and performative at all times and i have a real diary for things like that. the contents of that post are however all true and i'm really grateful that this 30something and not-outwardly-very-sentimental guy is okay with me getting tipsy and texting him about how i feel like nobody likes me. (by the time i'll hit post on this, it's gonna be his birthday! happy birthday, guy who will never read this because his social media use as far as i can tell extends solely to r/rollercoasters! i appreciate him <3)
i do love this concert though. the concert hall is gorgeous and modeled after the inside of a cello. my name (at birth, not my current legal one--my relationship to any name i've ever had is complicated) is engraved onto one of the walls alongside a bunch of donors and contributors and suchlike because my dad worked on the initial project back when i was just born and so when everyone on the team got to put someone's name on the wall, he picked mine. some of the people i'm singing with used to sing with my mom and have sort of adopted me as their choir daughter (the genderqueer thing confuses a lot of people and honestly sometimes i think about just giving up on it and going back to being a girl who was bad at being a girl). i love to sing with the orchestra and they're doing these awesome jazz arrangements of the nutcracker that i absolutely love. and it's hilarious to watch the cello section roll their eyes when they have to spin their instruments because they are in a Serious Orchestra and are above that shit. and as isolating as it can be, there's also a deep camaraderie among performers during concert. everyone wants to go out for drinks.
the other thing about concerts is that... okay, did anyone else have the picture book "the philharmonic gets dressed" as a kid? because i think about that book every time i put on concert black. something something all across the city one hundred and five people are getting ready to go to work. one hundred and twenty people (plus the orchestra, i dunno their numbers) are getting ready to go to gsoc.
that's the name of the concert, btw. the glorious sound of christmas.
i had about 1/3 of a very long rambly post written about how cliquey choir can be when you get 120 singers, some of whom take themselves a little too seriously, in a room for five days in one week, and about how lonely i am and how my one friend who i know from somewhere else has been simultaneously really reassuring and gentle to me about it but also oblivious to the fact that he's part of the 30something gay baritone clique. this post does not need to go on dreamwidth to my 4 followers. i am self-conscious and performative at all times and i have a real diary for things like that. the contents of that post are however all true and i'm really grateful that this 30something and not-outwardly-very-sentimental guy is okay with me getting tipsy and texting him about how i feel like nobody likes me. (by the time i'll hit post on this, it's gonna be his birthday! happy birthday, guy who will never read this because his social media use as far as i can tell extends solely to r/rollercoasters! i appreciate him <3)
i do love this concert though. the concert hall is gorgeous and modeled after the inside of a cello. my name (at birth, not my current legal one--my relationship to any name i've ever had is complicated) is engraved onto one of the walls alongside a bunch of donors and contributors and suchlike because my dad worked on the initial project back when i was just born and so when everyone on the team got to put someone's name on the wall, he picked mine. some of the people i'm singing with used to sing with my mom and have sort of adopted me as their choir daughter (the genderqueer thing confuses a lot of people and honestly sometimes i think about just giving up on it and going back to being a girl who was bad at being a girl). i love to sing with the orchestra and they're doing these awesome jazz arrangements of the nutcracker that i absolutely love. and it's hilarious to watch the cello section roll their eyes when they have to spin their instruments because they are in a Serious Orchestra and are above that shit. and as isolating as it can be, there's also a deep camaraderie among performers during concert. everyone wants to go out for drinks.
the other thing about concerts is that... okay, did anyone else have the picture book "the philharmonic gets dressed" as a kid? because i think about that book every time i put on concert black. something something all across the city one hundred and five people are getting ready to go to work. one hundred and twenty people (plus the orchestra, i dunno their numbers) are getting ready to go to gsoc.
that's the name of the concert, btw. the glorious sound of christmas.
